The Prodigal Father

    We have all heard many sermons on this classic parable. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is one of the most well-known parables in Jesus’ repertoire. Jesus’ original intent in telling this story was to teach the self-righteous Pharisees to show mercy to sinners who repent. 

            What I would like to do this morning is to take this parable and focus primarily on the father. In conjunction with Father’s Day, I want to both honor and encourage fathers to be like the father in the parable.  

            I am honestly impressed by the young fathers I see these days. Many of them dote on their toddlers, are involved in feeding and caring for them, and take an active role in parenting. I wish I had your example when I was a young father.  

            However, it’s when the toddlers grow up that they begin to challenge that love and care. After you have done everything to provide a loving, nurturing, faith-based home that teaches the life of Jesus, some children will stray from that teaching. Maybe not in dramatic ways; maybe in poor decision-making; maybe by rejecting our faith. These are the moments that challenge our love for our children. 

            Fathers and mothers, how are we to respond toward children who rebel? We know the human tendency is to shut them out. Our world believes in swift justice and allowing individuals to suffer the consequences of their actions. [On our holidays a few years ago, Sharon and I saw a young mother threaten to kill her ten-year-old son in the parking lot of a restaurant for ruining her birthday supper. He seemed to suffer from ADHD.] But is this how God loves us? 

            We see a different reaction in this parable. What does the parable teach us about the Father-heart of God? And how do we show love and grace to our children in any circumstance?  

            Look for this heart in Luke 15:11-24 as we unpack it.

A Loving Father does not Nurse the Pain

 

            The man in the parable had two sons. The younger one has had enough of the household rules and being bossed by his father and brother. He wants to be free. So he says to his father, “Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.” 

            Jesus’ listeners would already be in shock at this point. A son does not ask for his inheritance when the father is still alive. The premise of this story in the Middle East is one of honor and shame. What the son does is shameful. It is also painful for the father in many ways.

            First, there is the pain of personal rejection. With the son asking for his inheritance he is basically saying to his father, “I wish you were dead.” 

            The son also rejects his heritage. Inheritance is usually family land passed down from generation to generation; it’s supposed to stay in the family. When the son sells the land for cash he cuts ties with this ancestral home and heritage of faith. But not only does he cause his father pain, the community that makes up the estate also feel this pain. For the network of families that are part of this community feels the dishonor of the son’s actions.

            The father’s pain is further felt in the rejection of his values. We see this in the reckless manner in which the son spends his money. He cares nothing for the hard work that went into his fortune. 

            The father feels the pain of humiliation because the event does not happen in secret. When the son sells the property, everyone knows about it. While the son is partying, the father has to bear the passive aggressive comments of the community who question his parenting skills. If only he had been more strict. He should have sent the son packing without any money or goods and told him to never return.

            The father in this parable, however, acts contrary to the norm. The father is personally rejected; the father’s heritage and values are scorned; the father is humiliated. But this father does not nurse these hurts. He does not say, “I have no son,” or “To ‘H’ with this boy.” A normal father may guard his heart and out of defensiveness reciprocate rejection, but this father yearns for his straying child with a longing heart.

            It is easy for us to take our experiences with our fathers and think God is like that too. Many people don’t even like to call God “Father” because of bad experiences with their own dads. God is a good Father though, the best example of fatherhood. And he is not like those bad examples. Against all logic, he even blesses the rebel. So too does the father in the parable; he blesses his son even though he has every right to nurse his pain and reject the son.

 

A Loving Father is a Merciful Father

 

After a time of reckless living, the son is broke and starving. He devises a plan of action. He will go home to his father and say “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants,” (18-19). 

            Please note that this is NOT repentance. In his hunger he realizes that the shame he has brought on his father is immense. Maybe, he thinks, I can pay my debt by working as a servant; he is trying to EARN his redemption. He thinks, even if he has to be a slave, at least he will eat. 

            Now note the father’s reaction:

            First, his father “saw him.” We get the sense that the father was on the balcony or rooftop of his house every day looking down the road to see if his son is coming. The father knows two things are certain: his son will fail, and he will eventually come home. 

            It is critical that he sees his son before the community does because they will not be merciful. There is a ceremony of cutting off called the kezazah in ancient Israel. When a boy shames his family the community holds a kezazah. If the boy returns without the money he took from his father, the community might kill him. So the father watches the road.

            Second, when the father saw him he “felt compassion.” Not wrath or malice, but mercy and tenderness. He sees his boy in rags, his bloodied feet, and dirty appearance and feels nothing but deep compassion for his son. The father didn’t harden his heart; he could have done so to protect himself. He could have said, “I could care less,” but instead said, “I couldn’t care more.” The father does not even take a whiff of the “piggy” smell and say, “Go clean yourself up before coming to me.” 

            No, the third thing we note is that the father “ran.” The father takes his long robes in his hand and runs down the crowded street to welcome his pig-herder son. As he does so, he humiliates himself – gentlemen of a certain age and station do not run – he assumes the role of a servant and runs. The father runs knowing that in doing so he will deflect the attention of the community away from his son. He bares his legs, also inappropriate, and draws their focus.

            Finally, the father “embraced him and kissed him.” The son hasn’t said anything yet. He doesn’t even know if the boy is repentant. The father is simply overjoyed to see his son. Can you imagine doing that? Just delighting in your children even when they are not repentant? This father gushes over his son, kisses his dirty neck (give your skin a lick and then add pig poop and travel dirt), and wraps him in his arms. 

            Can you say “overwhelmed by grace”? The son is shocked by this outpouring of love. 

 

A Loving Father is a Prodigal Father

 

Do you know what the term “prodigal” means? I once assumed it meant “lost” or “rebellious.” To be prodigal means to spend money or resources freely, recklessly, extravagantly, or even wastefully. It can mean “to give lavishly.” 

            Not only is the son prodigal, we see that the father is prodigal in relation to his son. Note that the father does not demonstrate costly love in response to his son’s confession. Rather, his offer of grace is a prelude to the son’s remarks. 

But the boy is overcome and he does not recite his whole speech. He only squeaks out the first part, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, I am no longer worthy to be called your son,” (21). The father does not cut him off; the son realizes that his father has gone beyond expectation and that he really is unworthy to be called his son. Now he repents of his plan to save himself and lets the father find him (rescue him).

This prodigal father goes on to display extravagant love to his son in two ways: One, he restores the wayward son by clothing him in the best robe. This visible symbol expresses the father’s restoration of his son to the community. The son wears his dad’s colors and everyone can see his status as son. He is also given a ring, the authority of the father, almost like a credit card or key to certain circles. And he gives his son shoes for his feet. From top to bottom the son is restored to sonship in a costly display of extravagant love.

Two, the father celebrates the return of his son with a feast of the fattened calf. This is a recurring theme in the three parables of chapter 15. When the shepherd finds the lost sheep, he calls his friends and neighbors to rejoice with him (6). When the woman finds her lost coin, she calls together her friends and neighbors to rejoice with her (9). So too with the father, he calls for a feast that involves the whole community to celebrate. 

Then he utters a very interesting summary: “For this, my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found,” (24). The tone of these words speaks to resurrection. The son was dead in his sin and, in reality, could not come back to the father on his own merit. He was dead – and dead people can’t save themselves. The son was lost, just like the sheep was lost and the coin was lost. So the prodigal father did more than clothe his son, he gave him his life back. And the son responded to that love by letting the father love him.

 

That is the kind of father (parent) we want to be to our children. We want to be prodigal fathers, don’t we? We want our children to know that they can always come home again no matter what decisions they make. Yes, there is a place for discipline and corrective behavior (i.e. discipleship), but what we are talking about here is grace.

And who is the father in Jesus’ story? Anyone take a guess? (It’s Jesus – He is the shepherd; He is the woman searching for the coin; He is the father looking for his son. The context proves this in the beginning when the Pharisees say, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” And Jesus explains why with these three stories). Let us love our children, dear fathers, like Jesus loves us.

I want to close with a story of extravagant fatherly love:

The late Joe Bayly was a gentle, godly Christian leader. He once told how one of his sons rebelled back in the days of the hippie movement, back in the 60s or 70s. The son grew his hair long and moved into a communal flophouse. Late one night, Bayly received a call informing him that his son was being held at one of the Chicago police stations. He got out of bed, got dressed and went down to the station, but they had no record of his son being there. He made the rounds to several police stations before he realized that the call had been a prank.

Even though it was about 2 a.m., before he went home Bayly went to the flophouse where his son was living. He went in (the door was always unlocked), stepped over several sleeping bodies strewn on the floor, and found his son asleep on his bed. He gently bent over and kissed his son on the cheek before he went home to bed.

When Bayly told the story, he said that his son was now a pastor. Years later, the young man told his father, “Dad, do you know what turned me around?” Bayly said, “No, son.” His son said, “It was that night you came into my room and kissed me. You thought that I was asleep, but I wasn’t. I thought, ‘If my dad loves me that much, I had better get my life right with God.’”

Even if your children have hurt you through their rebellion, painful as it may be, show them God’s abundant love and mercy. That’s probably the opposite of what your gut tells you. But through your love, your children should be able to see that God “is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness” (Psalm 103:8).

 

Happy Father’s Day

 

 

                                    AMEN