Discipleship Series: Family Discipleship

GOD’S HEART FOR FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP

 

Do you remember the story about the young minister who preached a sermon on raising children? He called it “Ten Commandments for Raising Godly Children.” And then his wife had a child. So, he changed the title of that sermon to “Ten Principles for Raising Godly Children.” And then he had another child. He changed the title again to “Ten Suggestions…” He had two more children and changed the title to “Ten Hints…” 

            I confess to you that I am in no position to preach about the perfect Christian family. To share stories of godly parenting and family successes would be deceptive. So, by way of a disclaimer, please know that I am not speaking today as an expert in family matters. What I preach is what I believe the Bible says, (as always), about life and faith. 

            What I can tell you in all confidence is that God has a heart for family discipleship. He has created the family to be one of the great shapers and influencers of the lives of children. We can bring our children to Sunday School to learn about spiritual things; and sometimes a story in the sermon may grab the interest of the young; but the truth is that the greatest spiritual influence (negative or positive) is in the home. It’s an awesome and heavy fact that our children will often imitate us in life before they will ever do what we tell them to do. They will do as we do rather than do as we say. That's why it is important that we are intentional about Family Discipleship. What is family discipleship?

            To put it simply, family discipleship is leading your home by demonstrating a love for God in your own life so that your family will become followers of Jesus Christ. We are all called to make disciples; making disciples of our children is a primary task for all Christian parents.

            What does the Bible say about the role of the parent in leading children to know God? Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is a cornerstone passage that emphasizes more than any other God’s intention for the family to be a focal point of discipleship. What can we glean from this text?

Growing Godly Families in Ungodly Cultures

 

The book of Deuteronomy is a record of Moses’ last sermon to the people of Israel. As they stood on the brink of entering the Promised Land, Moses reminded them what it meant to be God’s people. This was important because they were entering into a land that was filled with ungodly cultures and practices that were wicked in God’s sight. 

            Does that sound familiar? I don’t think I need to give you a list of the ungodly cultures and influences of our nation. This theme of living amid ungodliness is revisited in the book of Revelation where John calls this culture “Babylon.” ("the world" in John's letters).We live in Babylon, folks, and Jesus calls us to be separate from her.

            The primary calling of families living amid these cultures is this: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one,” (6:4). You may remember this is the Shema (means "hear"). Jews repeated this for generations as a statement of faith. Now, Israel’s neighbors believed in polytheism (they believed in many gods). Those gods were always warring with each other. They were fickle and unpredictable. You never knew which one would be on your side, so for each situation you called on one god or another. To believe in the One True God, Yahweh, was to believe in a God who governed them consistently and righteously. That meant you could depend on God. He was and is unique, the only God with the power to make promises and keep them. 

            Family discipleship begins with professing faith in the one true God. That means identifying the idols around us and refusing to give them space in our homes. Often these idols are good things that become obsessions: wealth, power, education, fame, or influence. When anything moves you to act in a manner that excludes Christian truth, it is likely an idol. 

            Jesus taught what his kingdom looked like, and it was upside-down to what society knew. Down is up; up is down. Servanthood is key. When we profess that “the Lord our God is One God,” we are inviting God to make us counter cultural.

            If you recall the Family Feud game at the Festival last Saturday, you will remember that the contestants had to answer the opening question in a hurry. They grabbed the bell before the other player and quickly shouted their answer. Did you notice though, that no one paused and said to the other contestant, "No, please, you go ahead and answer first"? Because the world's way of thinking is to "win" and "conquer." But Jesus' way is to "lose" and "surrender." Jesus, surprisingly emphasizes being a "loser" as a way of winning in the kingdom of God. 

The Priority of Loving God 

 

Professing Yahweh as God, Moses said, means learning to love God as a priority. God is love and to know God is to know God’s love. Loving God is a response to the love of God.

            Consider how we are to love God. “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your might,” (6:5). Note the repetition of “all.” This emphasizes totality, a universal love all-encompassing love for God. In terms of the family, it is impossible for me to transfer to my child a truth I do not personally embrace. How can I expect my child to love God in totality if I do not have a love that permeates my whole life?

            Jesus called this the “Greatest Commandment.” To love God is the priority of a human being. I want you to know how radically he taught this priority. Jesus was talking about discipleship when he said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple,” (Luke 14:26). This is an odd verse in a sermon about family and love.

            Does this disturb you? You are supposed to hate your wife or husband? It did me too until I realized that Jesus was speaking in hyperbole. He was saying that to love God so completely implies that if even your dearest family members got in the way of you following Jesus, you choose Jesus over family. That’s radical! If your nearest and dearest are also following Jesus, there is no conflict; you are headed in the same direction. In other words, we should gladly say, “Don’t make me choose between you and Jesus, because I choose Jesus.” 

            To love God with heart, soul, strength, and mind, is a Jewish euphemism that speaks of that totality. With my emotions, with my person, with my thoughts, with all that I do, I commit to loving God.

            That's a must when you get serious about family discipleship. To lead your family in knowing God, you can do no less than love him in totality.  

 

Modeling Your Love for God

 

How is this love expressed to our children? Moses used four verbs to describe how we may model a love for God to our families: Teach – Talk – Bind – Write. Look at this in context:

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall TEACH them diligently to your children, and shall TALK of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall BIND them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall WRITE them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,” (6:6-9). 

By Diligent Teaching – Family discipleship involves indoctrination – teaching the doctrines of God, giving your children a worldview based on the Scriptures. Indoctrination is a bad word in our culture – it is akin to brainwashing to some folks, unfortunately. But who of us would not pass on our wisdom for life to our kids?

            Our culture expounds the freedom of choice and states that religious indoctrination stifles that freedom. Many take up the philosophy that a child should be given the option of choosing their own belief system and even gender. Yet the image this conveys is of a garden that has been allowed to grow wild. Instead of sculpted shrubs and cultivated plants and flowers, weeds pop up everywhere, vines growing in the screen room, and general disorder. This is a life that is allowed to grow without teaching. A cultivated garden is a beautiful garden - we cut, we hoe, we weed - this is the discipline of teaching our children. 

            The word “teach” in v. 7 implies repeating truths. And the word “diligently” is from a Hebrew verb meaning “to sharpen.” Put together, to teach diligently is to “intensely sharpen your children.” Is there a space in your home for sharing the Word of God with your children? 

            The writer of the Proverbs appears to have written a letter to his son regarding spiritual teachings. It is as if he was putting into practice Deut. 6 (see Prov. 3:1-3 & 6:20-23)

By Casual Conversation – The Hebrews had a term for delivering a lecture. Moses doesn’t use it here in this next piece. Instead, he uses a term for just talking. We are to talk of spiritual things just as we would talk about the Jets – casually. “Talk of them when you sit…walk…lie down…rise.” Basically, everywhere and all the time. 

            Imagine this: When Jesus discipled his followers they walked together, sat together, ate together, and lived together. I calculated that it is a 195 km walk from Capernaum to Jerusalem or 35 hours. That’s like a walk from Winnipeg to Brandon (214 km/43 hours). It took Jesus three years! Why? Because the journey was important. Walking and talking gave Jesus the opportunity to discuss the kingdom conversationally with his followers. 

            Meant as an accusation, the best thing the Pharisees said about Jesus was, “This man receives sinners and eats with them,” (Lk 15:2). The dinner table is an ideal place for conversations about the things of God. It was probably at our dinner table where my daughter and son learned to think and discuss views on various topics.

By Living What You Teach – Many Jews devoutly followed the Shema, particularly this next part where Moses tells them to take the Scriptures and “bind them as a sign on your hand, and…frontlets between your eyes.” Unfortunately, they took it too literally. They actually created little leather boxes, put scriptures in them, and tied them to their heads. These were known as phylacteries. When Jesus was pointing out the hypocrisies of the Pharisees, he mentioned this practice saying, “They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long,” (Mt 23:5). 

            They missed the point. God wasn’t asking them to literally tie scripture to their heads, but he wanted them to keep the scriptures on their minds. If the Word of God was on their minds, it would influence their decisions and actions. Living what we teach shows our family that we are serious about loving God and God’s ways.

            By Sanctifying Your Home – The last piece of this instruction says, “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” I wondered how we might apply this and thought “framed verses.” But then I thought about the phylacteries and wondered if this too might be a metaphor. If I “write” God’s instructions on the walls of my house, I am “sanctifying” our home. 

            One may think of sanctifying as cleansing. In that case a person may get rid of their TV and other devices – anything that distracts, that hinders mental and spiritual growth. But that’s not what I mean. To “sanctify” means to “set apart.” I believe that the home needs to be a safe space for families to ask the tough questions of faith. It is a lab where experiments of thought are processed. The home should be a place where a child is free to think, to ask questions, to muse about God and his creation. You might shudder at this thought, fear its outcome, but how many of our youth are just dying to ask questions about their faith and have no place to do so? Shouldn’t the family home be a place for that? 

            To disciple your family as Jesus discipled the twelve, try not to think of your children as students in your home university and more as apprentices invited to study and exercise the way of God they see in and hear about from you. When they ask questions, think of how you could show them Jesus, as Jesus himself invited, “Come and you will see,”(John 1:39). Your children want to see Jesus in you.

 

One of the Family Feud questions last weekend at EMC Festival on Saturday night was “What is something you do Sunday afternoon?” One of the top six answers was “critique the sermon.” I believe “nap” was number one. 

            Nevertheless, it may be that you will sit down at the table for lunch and think “that sermon had nothing to do with me.” I encourage you to tear this message apart and analyze its parts. You should examine the scriptures to see if what I said is true. But I will tell you that it does apply to you. Why? 

            Because even if your children are grown or you never had a family in the traditional sense, you are a part of this family. And everything that we have studied does apply. This church is a family, even if you feel like the weird aunt or the cousin that walks to the beat of his own drum, you are family. It's not perfect. It’s dysfunctional sometimes. But it is a family.      Jesus was speaking one time and his mother and brothers were trying to talk to him. Jesus replied to the man who told him they were there, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” He pointed to the disciples and said, “Here are my mother and brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother,” (Matt. 12:46-50). The important phrase that makes us family is “whoever does the will of my Father.” I believe that’s why we’re here. 

            So, as family, we are called to love God intensely, so intensely that this love spills over onto each other, and we will show the younger generation among us that we mean business in following Jesus. We are authentic in our faith. We will teach, talk, bind, and write the love of God all over the walls of our lives so that they will see that we are God’s family. 

 

                                                AMEN