“I’M ALL IN”
You are familiar with the expression, “I’m all in.” It is used by lovers of their beloved to say, “I’m committed to you for life. Marry me!” For those of you who play poker (Texas Hold’em), “I’m all in” expresses the confidence that you hold the winning cards and the assurance that you will win the pot. In this case it is a risk. You are putting everything you have into those cards. There’s no turning back. If you are wrong, you lose everything. If you are right, you win it all.
“I’m all in” came to mind as I thought of one of Paul’s most quoted declarations: “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” We have talked much of his condition, being in prison, dealing with envious preachers, facing his own execution. He is about to lose everything; his critics would say he already has. But for Paul, he has pushed all his chips to the center of the table and has said of Jesus Christ, “I’m all in.” Let it ride. I am confident that this will all turn out for the glory of God.
More than an inspirational quote to plaster on a coffee cup, “To live is Christ and to die is gain,” is Paul’s life goal. It is more than a catchy slogan that we casually respond to as “cool.” Paul passionately entrusted his life and death to God and believed that to live is Christ and to die is gain.
I want to unpack this little verse in its context and examine what it means with you. Then I will invite you to consider upon this reflection if you are willing to say, “I’m all in.”
A Decision to Make?
Every religion has to answer two questions: What is life? What is death? Buddhism says, “To live is to achieve good Karma, and to die to is to hope for a better reincarnation.” Islam teaches, “To live is to obey Allah, and if your good deeds outweigh your bad deeds, death is to achieve a personal paradise.” The average Canadian would say, “To live is self and to die is loss.” Paul stares life and death in their faces and makes it sound like he has a decision to make.
Whether he lives or dies was never in his hands, yet Paul philosophically reflects on the options. Here’s an image of his “Decision Matrix” (thanks to Darryl Dash).
Paul considered the questions of his life and death like this:
What will honor Jesus more? Could Jesus be lifted up if Paul lived and continued to planting churches? Yes. Could Jesus be glorified in the death of Paul who suffers and dies for his faith in Jesus? Yes. So, it’s a tie. Either way Jesus is glorified.
What is better for Paul? He’s endured a lot of troubles and trials, he’s older, tired, and churches continue to have issues. If he dies, there’s Jesus. So, more labor, headaches, or Jesus? Paul declares that for him it is better to die and be with Jesus. That is so much better. I admire and respect those who look at death this way and confess that they just want to go and be with Jesus when their lives have been poured out.
But which one is better for the church? Sure, to be with Jesus is better, but the church at Philippi still needs Paul. As if he had a say in the matter, Paul concedes that he will stay alive and live to serve and teach a little longer.
What matters for Paul is not whether he lives or dies, but that Jesus is proclaimed and believed in.
1. To Live is Christ…
What does it mean? I have often struggled to explain exactly what it means. It is so deep that words fail to capture it all. I guess you could simply ask, “What do you live for?”
If someone were to ask you out of the blue to finish this sentence, “To live is _____” how would you respond? Questions like this in casual conversation take us off guard. Honestly, we may respond in the typical categories:
Comfort – If “To live is comfort” is your declaration you will avoid stress and troubles and prize freedom. Your nightmares are stress and demands. You avoid difficult situations.
Approval – You love affirmation. You want love. You want relationship. Your greatest nightmare is rejection. You need to be recognized and thought of in the best possible terms.
Control – You value self-discipline, certainty, standards, rules, order. Your greatest nightmare is chaos and confusion; people not making good decisions (in your opinion). You worry a lot.
Power – You love success and winning. Your joy is having the ability to influence others and their decisions. You can’t handle humiliation and the feeling of helplessness.
When these goals are at the centre of your universe and everything revolves around you, “To live is self.” To live is my comfort. To live is to be affirmed. To live is have control. To live is to hold all the power. But Paul said, “To live is Christ.”
To live is Christ is Paul’s all-consuming passion. Jesus is at the centre of his universe, and everything revolves around Jesus. A great commentary on “To live is Christ” is found in Gal. 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” In this scenario I am no longer the centre of my own universe, Jesus is. I no longer seek that which comforts me because Christ is greater than comfort. He comforts me better than any “thing.”
The craving for approval? I struggle with this one. The truth is that if you want approval and affirmation, think on this: Christ died for you when you were at your worst. When no one else thinks much of you, Jesus chooses you. When no one else applauds your service, Jesus says, “Well done.”
To live is Christ! How can I explain it? When we surrender control of our circumstances to Jesus, we will find the space to rejoice. Paul said, “Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance…” He’s not talking about getting out of jail, but of being vindicated…you know…proven right…for trusting in Jesus and going “all in.”
2. To Die is Gain
Are you afraid of death?
We said the average Canadian says, “To live is self and to die is loss.” In this case, if you die, you lose something. To live this way will kill you. People who live by this mantra will be killed by it because to live for self alone defies the created order of life. Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. This is not just some verse in the Bible – the God who created the harmony and order of the universe has ordained that this is how life works best. This is life. To ignore this order is death without God and thus without hope.
For Paul, however, death is gain. Paul fully expected that with death everything would get better. Why? Because he would gain Christ. Between life and death, Paul was torn. He said, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far…” (23).
The word “depart” is used in other Greek writings to describe a ship being released from its moorings. As a ship would weigh anchor and sail off into the sea, so Paul envisioned death. He saw his duties and responsibilities of ministry as a rope that kept him fastened to the dock of life in this present world. When the waves of the sea swelled and pulled on those ropes, he felt the tug of his heart to set sail and go home to Jesus.
I had a friend who has now gone on to be with Jesus. Early on in his mission work he had a vision from God, he said. The Lord told him that tonight he would die and go home to Jesus. He was so excited, he put on his best suit and lay down on his bed and waited. His wife was not thrilled, but she too waited. Then the Lord spoke to him again and blessed my friend for his willingness to wait in such expectation. You may think it crazy – we did when we heard the story – but you cannot fault a man for loving Jesus so much.
Paul had that beautiful sense of abandon. It made him invincible. It can make us invincible too. Take my comfort. Take my power. Take my control. Take my money. Beat me. Take my life. I’ve got Jesus. And I’m going to live in the presence of Jesus forever. That’s real freedom. I’m free because to live is Christ. My life isn’t based on those things; it’s based on Jesus Christ who died and rose again and took away my sin.
Josiah Queen has a great anthem for this truth:
Can’t steal my joy
What the world couldn’t give, no, it can’t take away
Sorrow may come but it can’t steal my joy
In the high highs, in the low lows
You fill my cup; you fill it up until it overflows
I remember, I’ll keep holding on to hope
‘Cause you’re the King of rolling stone.
Can’t steal my joy
There are three words we have left off Paul’s motto: “For to me…” Those three words make it a personal conviction.
“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
This is what drives his life. And that is why he can look at prison and suffering and death and say, “Yes, and I will continue to rejoice…” and “I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith.”
This is an invitation to give up the world’s motto “To live is self” and to declare “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” And with that declaration to receive the joy that Jesus wants to give.
Do you crave such a joy? I have no formula for knowing this joy, but I can pray that we all receive joy.
Will you say with me to Jesus, “I’m all in”?
AMEN
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